Everyday things!

So tonight as Scott and I were cooking dinner together, I had a thought pop into my head. I wonder if this is what we would be doing if Clayton was here. I thought this because we were trying a new dish so we were both busy cooking. I just wonder how would this work, then it hit me it just would have. When you become a parent you just learn what you can and can't do. I was and am so ready for the day to come when we can't cook dinner right away because the little one is crying or is playing and we don't want to miss a thing. I have come to realize that everyday things will never be the same. Everything has a new meaning as does how I see life now. When something you have wanted for so long is just taken away without notice it changes everything. I view people in a whole new light. I use to see the good in everyone I ran into, however, now not so much. I use to put everyone's needs in front of my own, I no longer do that. I have learned the hard way that life is too short; way to short. I am learning that family and myself need to come first. I might hurt people by saying no more often, but I need to do things for my self. I have also learned that when you lose a child no one seems to know how to talk to you or be around you. Yes we lost our child and we are grieving, however we are still human and can carry on conversations about everyday things. I hate the way people just look at you and give you that half smile. Just say something. Anything it is better then to just walk by and have a silly look on your face. Trust me, we like talking about our children. That is how we remember them. It might make us cry, but the most important thing is that you asked. We are still people. We just have a different outlook on life.